Third-Party Reproduction Counselling
Third-Party Reproduction Counselling
Sometimes it takes another person (or more) to make a baby.
Third-party reproduction occurs with the help of another party (person or people) who donates eggs, sperm, or embryos, and/or who acts as a gestational surrogate.
The most common reasons for donation and surrogacy are:
- Infertility or other medical condition
- Solo parent family building
- LGBTQ+ family building
Many happy families are created every day with third-party reproduction.
However, this special type of baby-making can bring a few extra considerations… some for the adults involved, and some for the future child.
A third-party reproduction counselling session can help you navigate the information and resources, gain support and coping strategies, and prepare for your future family.
Third-party reproduction counselling can help you to:
- Gain support, information, and strategies
- Decide if donation or surrogacy is right for you
- Learn about the different types of donation available
- Get help in choosing a donor or surrogate
- Learn if, how, and when to inform others of your plans
- Feel more attached to your child, regardless of genetic connection
- Feel more prepared to become a parent, a donor, or a surrogate
- Discuss the possible legal, ethical, and psychosocial implications involved
- Manage the relationships, boundaries, and expectations between all known parties
- Discuss the most up to date recommendations
- Review the latest research on health and psychological outcomes for children and families
Common questions about donation and surrogacy:
- Most countries have third-party reproduction guidelines for medical staff and for counsellors.
- In Canada, guidelines are set by Health Canada and by professional associations that specialize in reproduction and fertility.
- Holly participates in regular professional development and training in third-party reproduction and assisted reproduction through organizations such as the Canadian Fertility & Andrology Society and the American Society for Assisted Reproduction.
- In your session, specific topics are discussed prior to donation or surrogacy at a clinic.
- Holly will provide you with information, support, and strategies to help you on your journey — whether you are an intended parent, a surrogate, or a donor. She will also provide recommendations on how to navigate the needs of children who are born via donation or surrogacy.
- Most clinics require that a brief report is sent to your fertility clinic, which confirms you have discussed the recommended topics. The cost of this report is included in the session fee.
- For intended parents/recipients: it is important to note that this session is not a screening to determine fitness to parent.
- For intended donors and surrogates: this appointment is considered to be a ‘psychoeducational’ session to discuss implications of donation/surrogacy. This session does not include psychological testing.
- The goal of this kind of session is to set up for success, and to endure that it feels like the right timing and, in the case of directed/identified arrangements, the right fit with the other party/parties.
- In arrangements where the parties are known to one another, a joint session may be recommended after the separate sessions are completed.
- In Canada, we are generally able to use donor eggs, donor sperm, or donor embryos from a cryobank. Most often, the bank is located in the US.
- In Canada, there are also organizations that provide services to help recruit donors/surrogates, and to help each party match with the other.
- The laws in Canada differ from those in the US or other countries, and may even be different in different provinces, so it may be recommended to consult with your clinic and/or a lawyer who specializes in this field.
- For example, while organizations may charge intended parents a fee to help find a directed donor/surrogate (admin fees, expenses, etc.), it is important to know that in Canada donors and surrogates are not permitted to be paid for the use of their gametes or uterus. Please talk to a lawyer who specializes in third-party reproduction if you have questions.
- Many people in Canada prefer to go through donation or surrogacy with someone they know (e.g., a friend, family member, or acquaintance).
- The intended parent/recipient party will need a counselling session, and the donor (or surrogate) will need their own session. Legal partners are required to attend.
- In most cases, a legal agreement is required when participating in ‘known/designated” donation or surrogacy; talk to your clinic for a list of lawyers who specialize in this area, or go to Fertility Law BC for more information.
- When participating in surrogacy or donation with someone you know (e.g., a friend or family member, acquaintance), it is recommended that each party meets with the same counsellor for their own separate session.
- In some cases, an additional joint session with all parties combined is recommended (e.g., if concerns or differing expectations were revealed in counselling).
- Working with the same counsellor is especially beneficial if you intend to be in contact with the child and/or the other party in the future, which is the most often the case.
- Openness and transparency are encouraged when working together to make a baby.
- Your consent will be requested so that some personal information can be shared with the other party and with your clinic.
- It may not always be possible for all parties to see the same counsellor, in which case it may be possible to make other arrangements.
- Whether you are a donor, a surrogate, or an intended parent (recipient), Canada policies require that your legal partner attend this appointment with you.
- Legal partners are defined by Health Canada as someone living with you in a marriage-like relationship (e.g., common-law, married) for at least one year.
- Even if your relationship does not fit our government’s definition, it can be helpful to include partners in this process. This helps to ensure that everyone understands what is expected, and is especially important if you will have contact with the resulting child/other party in the future.
- After your session, and if you consent, a report will be sent to the fertility clinic of your choice.
- The report confirms that you have discussed the required topics in your counselling session.
- If participating in a known/directed donation or surrogacy where you know the other party, the report is specific to that arrangement. It is not transferable to other arrangements with other people.
- The report is valid until/unless circumstances alter your arrangement significantly. For example, an updated session and report is required when any of the following changes occur: health or mental health status, legal partner, source of gametes (unknown/agency to known/directed), other party, or expectations (in known arrangements), etc. In addition, your clinic may have a time limit on reports.
- Some people prefer to try to conceive at home with a known donor (friend, etc.) instead of going to a fertility clinic.
- While many successful conceptions have occurred this way, there are potential implications to be aware of.
- A counselling session is not required, but it can be helpful in determining everyone’s legal and social roles, as well as boundaries and expectations, and can be another source of support.
- There would be no need for a third-party reproduction counselling report if you are not attending a fertility clinic.
- You can find more information on the Fees page.
- Each party who attends a counselling session is responsible for payment at the end of their session. An invoice and receipt are automatically sent via the online booking app.
- In some cases, another party offers to pay/reimburse you for the fee. For example, intended parents wanting to reimburse their surrogate’s fee. Please inform Holly in advance if this is something you plan to do.
- Note that you are responsible for any outstanding amount that is not covered by the other party.
- The invoice will state the names of the person(s) who received the service, as well as the person/organization the invoice is sent to.
- There is one fertility clinic in BC (PCRM) that includes the cost of this counselling session in your medical treatment fees. If this is the case for you, then let Holly know to direct the invoice to the clinic instead of to you. Unfortunately in this case, it is unlikely that you will be able to use your extended health benefits.
- The topics of privacy, secrecy, and disclosure are important considerations. These topics and more will be discussed when you have your third-party reproduction counselling session. She will inform you of the latest research and recommendations, resources, and ideas for how to proceed.
- Holly provides counselling to adults, and is not a child therapist.